It wasn't that long ago that I proposed the Jarvis Air Travel Plan. Remember? We all strip down and clamber aboard the plane while our baggage and clothes are shipped in a second carrier. At the conclusion of our friendly flight, we don our clothes, unless they went to Timbuktu, and we're on our way safe and secure. Sure, we know a little more about our fellow passengers than we wanted to know, but we're alive!
Well my nay-saying friends. We are one step closer to the Jarvis Plan. Enter the airport's new full body scanner!!! Let the world see if your mother's words will come back to haunt you. "Don't wear ragged underwear. You never know when you might be in an accident and rushed to the hospital". You don't want the entire world looking at your dirty underwear. But even mom couldn't have known just how true her warning was. But it's not the ragged underwear that's going to embarrass dear old mom as she stands there
with her baggy boobs and saggy butt exposed for all to see.
Would it surprise you if I said that I cheer this new development? Hey! Let's move right along to a full MRI for each passenger. Make the lines longer, the employees ruder and English as only a marginal option.
Make the seats smaller, too. Without clothes on we won't need quite so much room. And get rid of those flight attendants. Replace them with a pre-recorded message. All passengers must watch while the pilot and co-pilot board, wearing parachutes. The warning light tells us that in event of any attempt to seize or damage the plane the pilots are out of here and you're on your own.
Then, maybe then we will figure out that we're better off staying home with our feet firmly planted on the ground.
We'll do our business from our home offices and turn our yard, front and back, into vegetable gardens. We might even plow down those ugly super malls and turn them into farms. How novel!
Some of us might actually live above our place of work. Some of us might walk or bike a short distance to our place of business. We might try our hand at manufacturing things. Really. This used to be a popular activity in the olden days.
We would leave the airways open to all Terrorists to flit about blowing themselves to Kingdom Come and dreaming of the prospect of 72 happy virgins.
Curious Carl
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We have met the enemy and, he is us. -- Pogo
We have met the enemy and, he is us. -- Pogo
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