Affairs of the heart may be different than other sorts of feelings of rejection.
When my ex-wife left me she said, "You are boring and blind. I thought the age difference wasn't a problem, but it is".
I was so slammed to the mat that I had to take a week off work and physically work out my feelings. By the end of that week I had the cleanest house and yard in the neighborhood.
Boring? I was the same jolly, fun loving guy she'd been charmed by 8 years earlier. Blind? Nothing I could do about that. And older? Guilty. I was 17 years her senior. But in fairness to me, I've always been a bit juvenile. And again, she swore at the time we married that we were a perfect match.
So, after beating my head against the wall, whining and sniveling to all of my friends, I decided that there was nothing I could do. I stood at the bus stop one evening on my way home from work and imagined a huge, fancy funeral. There she was, lying in state. When the last organ notes faded away and the last mourner(and there weren't really all that many) had looked their last look, I stepped forward and, with both hands, firmly closed the lid. "The end!" I announced.
My point here is that I had to take control of my own feelings and set my own course. I could not allow her to continue controlling me. It worked very nicely. And what a favor she did for me. Cathy and I have been married for 29 years and in love even longer. I could have limped along for years sniveling and saying, "Poor Me!" and had nothing but grief to show for it.
It's all within ourselves. We are the boss of our own selves.
Curious Carl
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