So there was this girl in my school. Well, not just "this girl", but this really, really attractive girl. I think we were all 13 or 14 at the time and we were just beginning to feel the hormonal rage.
But every one of us boys loved this one girl. In particular the two most popular boys, the really good looking fellows that hang out in every school, and we geeks all want to be just like them , only we would deny it and say that they were "pretty boys" or self centered.
But these two flawless, rosy cheeked, glistening toothed, slick haired fellows had the inside track to our class candidate for Future Miss America. And she played them like a fine Stradivarius, flirting openly with one of them right in front of the other. And then turn right around and cozy up to the other kid while #1 lover seethed and stewed.
Of course there was not a school event that did not turn into a personal match between these two combatants. Right down to who could clean the most black boards or slap the chalk off the most erasers. They loved to posture for her, strutting their beautiful young bodies, flexing their fledgling muscles, and even softly singing love songs to her as they passed in the halls. You remember, tunes like, "Put another nickel in, in the nickelodium. All I want is loving you and music, music, music". Stuff like that.
Of course this beauty queen was just sucking up all the attention and just to make certain she didn't discourage one or the other of them, she whispered to each one that he was really her only true love and she was just stringing the other fellow along because she just couldn't, I mean really didn't have the heart to crush him.
And so they began shoving one another a bit, and then calling out names and insults, like, "Your mother wears combat boots", or, "Your father wears pink underwear".
And they both began to press her to "Choose" the one she really and truly loved. So she said, "If you want me, prove it!"
And that brings me to that afternoon on the school play field. We all had heard the whispers, and we all gathered out back behind the Wood shop Portable out of sight of the school office. And there they were, circling and huffing and puffing like a couple of angry young Bulls in heat. And then they were at it. Arms and elbows , knees and legs all tangled together. Fists slamming into whatever they could reach. Even teeth marks appearing on exposed flesh. Noses bleeding and blood splattering those of us closest to the battle. Then #1 was on top of #2 and pounding his head onto the Black Top. And then he had his knee on #2's throat and was choking him. We yelled at him to stop. We turned to the Queen, standing tall and proud and excited, and we pleaded for her to step in and stop this horror. "I can't stop them from doing what they have to do," she breathed excitedly.
"But you gotta stop them. You pushed them into this", we cried.
"How do you get that? I didn't make them fight", she panted, looking bright eyed and a bit flushed.
Thank Heaven someone had the good sense to run for help and old Miss Blanchard came roaring into the center of the circle, throwing bodies left and right.
They had to rush boy #2 to the hospital, and it was months before he could talk above a hoarse whisper.
And Miss Gorgeous went about denying that she was involved in any way whatsoever. Indeed, I am told that among her circle of friends she was seen as the real victim.
I wish I could report that she went on to become the mother of the governor of Alaska, but after school I lost track of her and can only suppose that she used her charm to do good in the world...for herself.
Curious Carl
Subject: Re: Poor, Poor Sarah
I don't know if anyone else caught it, but during the first hour of his show yesterday, left-wing talk show host (and my favorite, to boot) Thom Hartmann indicated that he believed that Sarah Palin's video, along with some other statements by some of the right-wing's finest (not!) talkshow hosts, was a form of stochastic (hope I remembered the spelling correctly correctly) terrorism aimed at lone wolves. The goal of these people, according to Mr. Hartmann, is to encourage "lone wolves" that it is now time to get out and begin doing individual acts of violence against Americans, particularly those on the left, without having to claim responsibility for what they say. Thom says that what Mrs. Palin and her ilk are doing is the same thing that Osama bin-laden is doing when he releases new videos.
Food for thought.
Ted
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