forget "Educating" The Sighted. We need to change our stereotype instead

A sighted friend asked folks on a Blind List how they would like to be offered help by the public.  To my way of thinking such a discussion will not be a productive one.  I offer my thoughts. 

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Before we get into an endless round of personal preferences as how we would have others approach us and with which Kid Gloves they should be wearing, let me shoot off my mouth. 

 

1. How any of  us want to be treated has little bearing on how the public is going to approach us. 

I keep reminding this list that the public is not approaching you as an individual.  They are reacting to the traditional, deep seated, long established stereotype of the Blind. 

2. How we conduct ourselves when being approached with the offer of help has little impact on how people see us overall. 

This is because people measure our actions and reactions against what they already believe about Blindness.  The stereotype is the stereotype.  I can behave in the sweetest, gentlest and most cooperative manner and they will think, "What a nice blind man".  But it is not me, it is the stereotype they are measuring me against. 

I might curse them, shoving their hands off me and snarling that they should go to the Dark Region.  They will think, "What a rude, mean, angry blind man". 

But they are seeing the blind stereotype, not me. 

Even if some of us are consistently rude, they still cling to that basic stereotype.  The rude folks are seen as the exceptions. 

Someone might say, "Well, that blind man certainly bit my head off.  See if I ever offer any of them help again!"  They are still referring back to the stereotype, and they are hurt only because we are not behaving properly. 

 

3. Let's pretend that we can turn every blind person into kind thoughtful, honest and direct people.  Now when we meet the public and they grab our arms or wrap their arms about us in an effort to steer us somewhere we might not want to go, and we turn to them and say, "I understand your feelings that I need your assistance, but I do not.  Please let me take care of myself and I will gladly ask you for help should I need it." 

Now you have gone and hurt their feelings and even embarrassed them.  "You people are sure uppity". 

The stereotype remains in place.  We are the gentle, soft spoken, bumbling, musical, helpless lost Souls.  Unless we root out the stereotype everything else is just spinning wheels. 

 

One last comment and then I'll shut up. 

Just think of the reaction to the assertive, super confident posturing  set forth by Ken Jernigan and the leadership of the National Federation of the blind(NFB).  The public, and we blind people *are part of that public, responded by calling them overbearing and elitists.  And many other things, too.  Why?  Because they flew against our understanding of who we are, based upon our stereotype. 

 

So my dear friend, instead of asking your questions, I would urge you to just go about doing what you do, learning all you can and helping as you feel you can.  Then when you see a blind person who might need assistance, approach them just as you would approach your very best friend.  If they don't like that, screw them!  It's their problem, not yours. 

 

Curious Carl