words of comfort

We have had many clients like Roger.  They have no one to turn to as they age.  Following are Roger's comments and my tongue in cheek reply. 

Carl

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Sometimes someone tries to make a comment on my disability by saying
something about how lucky they are to not be disabled themselves. Those
who say things like that are always pretty youthful. I point out to them
that unless you are killed in an unexpected accident all of us will
become disabled. It is a process that is called senescence. It is
growing older. As for myself, I am not as old as you or a number of
people on this list, but my body is breaking down too and I too mourn
the life I had when I was younger. It is going to get worse too. I may
not be as old as some of you, but I am getting there. In my case, I have
no children and no close relatives much younger than myself other than
children either. That worries me. It doesn't appear that I will have
anyone to take care of me as my senescent disabilities accumulate.

Roger

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Roger,

Perhaps it is time that you began frequenting your local Senior Center or hanging out at the nearest Senior Retirement apartments.  You will quickly find that there are two groups of women.  The men haters and the men lovers. 

Do not get close to the first group.  But you will find that there are many older women who are at a loss as to what to do with themselves now that they are alone.  Many of them are not looking for love, just companionship.  Someone to hang out with.  Someone to add meaning and purpose to their lives. 

Of course you will want to check them over closely, making sure they are not hiding any serious disabilities themselves.  Naturally you will want to be your usual lovely self, contributing to the relationship with those witty jokes and long quotes from Marx or Trotsky.  Hint around that you might have been a philosophy professor.  That will get you lots of mileage. 

Oh, one word of caution.  Many of these wonderful ladies also have adult children.  Some of these adult children are truly nasty people.  They resent Mom having any sort of meaningful relationship.  Better get to know them before settling in. 

Hope this helps. 

 

Carl Jarvis