Subject: just too bizarre
My wife left the department of services for the blind and took a position with the Seattle Police, and later became director of the Para legal department. Her duties brought her into constant contact with officers, detectives, attorneys...mostly male, and other city officials.
Cathy and I have always been open and honest about our feelings toward other people. We are, after over 32 years of loving and marriage, secure in our mutual love and respect. We are a team, totally interdependent upon one another.
So it never bothered me when Cathy would talk about having had lunch with a particular dashing detective or a young, lean and handsome attorney. She told me how attractive she found these people, just as I told her of my feelings about women I worked with. We both have always understood that marriage was not a command to become deaf, dumb and blind toward the opposite sex. We believe that marriage is a commitment between two people that they will stay true to, and protect one another through whatever comes their way. We have never denied our feelings about other people. That's telling lies. Why lie to one another about something so basic as our sexual feelings? Because I say that I find Suzy sexy, does that need to mean that I intend to bed her? Not if I take my pledge to Cathy seriously.
Carl Jarvis
----- Original Message -----From: Roger Loran BaileySent: Saturday, December 22, 2012 5:19 PMSubject: Re: just too bizarreYes, here is another possibility that strikes me as the very most likely. I remember Tom Snyder once saying that every time he walks down the street he falls in love a dozen times per block. Putting aside his loose use of the word love I understand just what he meant. There are a lot of highly attractive women out there. I am sure that most every married man is exposed to those attractive women every day and that does not in the least endanger their marriages, even when they happen to work with those highly attractive women. It is taking action on the attraction that causes problems with the marriages. I hate to sound like I may be blaming the victim, but it has to go two ways too. If he tried to act on his attraction and it was rebuffed then the woman had nothing to do with endangering his marriage and if he kept on trying to act on his attraction she might have had a case for a sexual harassment suit. I would expect that she might have capitulated. There is an old piece of advice that goes around that says that you should never seek sexual gratification in the same place that you get your paycheck. It is also put as never date a coworker. The reason is that if you do it is likely that you will carry issues in the relationship into the workplace and that, by itself, can be very uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be, but it is likely. Then, if you happen to break up you are faced with having to come to work every day and face each other. If you do date a coworker, though, then never, ever, under any circumstances date your boss. Not only are you likely to bring issues from the relationship into the workplace, but what happens if you break up under that kind of circumstance? The likelihood is that you will also be breaking up with your job. I would suspect that the woman in question made just that mistake. It is also likely that the wife found out and the boss had to make a choice between his employee and his wife and the wife won. All of this would go far to explain why the firing would have been an effort to save his marriage. Admittedly it is speculative, but, like I said, marriages just do not become endangered just because the husband is around attractive women. If that was the case then no marriage would last long at all.
On 12/22/2012 6:08 PM, R. E. Driscoll Sr wrote:Good theory. Any other possibilities?
On 12/22/2012 2:26 PM, ted chittenden wrote:Claude: I think it more likely that the dentist's wife finally got a chance to look at his employee and threatened him with divorce if he didn't get rid of her. -- Ted Chittenden Every story has at least two sides if not more. ---- Claude Everett <ceverett@dslextreme.com> wrote: Hmmm!! She worked for him for ten years and the Dentist just now decided that she was a threat to his marriage? Did he have a sight saving surgery that awakened his vision? Claude Everett "First of all: what is work? Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relatively to other such matter; second, telling other people to do so. The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid; the second is pleasant and highly paid." >From The collection of essays "In Praise of Idleness" by Bertrand Russell -----Original Message----- From: blind-democracy-bounces@octothorp.org [mailto:blind-democracy-bounces@octothorp.org] On Behalf Of Miriam Vieni Sent: Saturday, December 22, 2012 6:51 AM To: 'Blind Democracy Discussion List' Subject: RE: just too bizarre Ridiculous! Miriam ________________________________ From: blind-democracy-bounces@octothorp.org [mailto:blind-democracy-bounces@octothorp.org] On Behalf Of joe harcz Comcast Sent: Saturday, December 22, 2012 8:04 AM To: blind democracy List Subject: just too bizarre NATIONAL BRIEFING | MIDWEST. Iowa: Court Upholds Firing of Woman Whose Boss Found Her Attractive. By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. A dentist acted legally when he fired an assistant that he found attractive simply because he and his wife viewed the woman as a threat to their marriage, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled unanimously on Friday. The all-male court said bosses could fire employees they saw as an 'irresistible attraction,' even if the employees had not done anything wrong. Such firings are not unlawful under state law because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender, wrote Justice Edward M. Mansfield. A lawyer for the dentist, James Knight, said the decision was a victory for family values because Dr. Knight fired Melissa Nelson to save his marriage. Ms. Nelson's lawyer said the court failed to recognize the discrimination that women see routinely in the workplace. These judges sent a message to Iowa women that they don't think men can be held responsible for their sexual desires and that Iowa women are the ones who have to monitor and control their bosses' sexual desires,' said the lawyer, Paige Fiedler. Ms. Nelson, 32, worked for Dr. Knight for 10 years.. _______________________________________________ Blind-Democracy mailing list Blind-Democracy@octothorp.org http://www.octothorp.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-democracy _______________________________________________ Blind-Democracy mailing list Blind-Democracy@octothorp.org http://www.octothorp.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-democracy _______________________________________________ Blind-Democracy mailing list Blind-Democracy@octothorp.org http://www.octothorp.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-democracy
_______________________________________________ Blind-Democracy mailing list Blind-Democracy@octothorp.org http://www.octothorp.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-democracy
_______________________________________________
Blind-Democracy mailing list
Blind-Democracy@octothorp.org
http://www.octothorp.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-democracy
No comments:
Post a Comment